The Epstein Files: Were “Conspiracy Theorists” Right Again?

Anyone trying to convince you there is nothing there is either stupid or lying.

The biggest news story of our lifetime has dropped. So big, in fact, that it will make you reevaluate your entire world view. Over 3 million files were released in relation to Jeffrey Epstein, the “disgraced financier.” Now that we can see this is much darker than most had even imagined, disgraced seems like a nice way of putting it. And he was not a simple financier. His expertise, more specifically, was in organized crime – the connections, networks, and financing. He was a fixer, a middle man, a consultant for a network of global elites – heads of state, tech, finance, science, religion, intelligence, celebrities. He had his hand in every cookie jar you could think of. His toes dipped in every pond. The scope and power of his network and influence was immense. But he wasn’t at the top of the pyramid. We now know that he “represented” the Rothschilds, as his email to Peter Thiel said exactly that. And although we still don’t know exactly where he got all his money from, the files do contain a contract between him and the Rothschilds for $25 million. Additionally, more recently, Les Wexner has stated Jeffrey Epstein was a financial advisor to Élie de Rothschild and the Rothschild family in France.

There’s so much information to piece together that it’s hard to even know where to start. And so much brought to light that it’s difficult to process. Every time I look into anything just a little bit deeper, I realize it’s just the tip of the iceberg. The rabbit holes are bottomless pits. I pause and wonder, “how the hell do I explain this to anyone who hasn’t read it?” This shit is crazy. It’s impossible to fit it into just one post. For now, let’s focus on an overview of Epstein and his operation.

To understand Jeffrey Epstein and his activities, it is important to understand his network of powerful contacts and the structures that protected him1. Those networks and structures did not begin with him, nor did they die with him1. Epstein is not a unique singular case. He is not an anomaly. Guaranteed, there exist more Jeffrey Epsteins that remain in the shadows, doing this kind of work, keeping the network alive and operational.

Let’s begin with the interview done by Steve Bannon. In the first 20 minutes, Epstein describes being on the board of the Rockefeller Foundation and knowing David Rockefeller personally. He says that David Rockefeller put him on the Trilateral Commission in the 1990s. The reason for this commission was that politicians in most countries were only elected for 4 or 8 years at a time. Thus, in order to have “stability and consistency,” (ie. to solidify power over a longer period) the most important people would be businessmen. And so, David Rockefeller formed the Trilateral Commission of businessmen and politicians from three major continents: North America, Europe, and Asia. Epstein then goes on to explain that most political leaders are only there because they can convince people to vote for them. They become world leaders because they are popular. They have no expertise or degrees in things like finance. Many of them are just good at what they do in terms of politics. They aren’t scientists, they’re not intellectuals, they’re not great thinkers – they’re politicians. In this way, he is revealing that politicians aren’t the ones really steering the ship. They are merely figureheads that placate the masses. Underneath this facade lies a tightly interlinked, powerful global network of finance, media, banking, intelligence, corporations, heads of state, and royalty. The coordination of this network is managed and developed by fixers and consultants like Jeffrey Epstein.

A recorded conversation from February of 2013 between Ehud Barak, and Jeffrey Epstein was also released in this batch of the Epstein files. Ehud Barak was the head of Israeli military intelligence before he became the Prime Minister of Israel in 1999, after which he became Israel’s Minister of Defense in 2007. This recording is from one month before he left office in March of 2013. The conversation revolves around Barak’s transition into the private sector, and it sheds a light on Epstein’s role as an outside fixer that mediates the lucrative success of private careers for former government officials. Instead of focusing on marketing his skills or knowledge, Epstein tells Barak to make a list of people who owe him favors – those who owe him their life, their job, etc. This is how people in government convert government power into personal financial power: by cashing in favors. The incentive in government is not to do what’s best for the country, but rather, to accumulate favors from outside entities, so that when transitioning into private life, those favors can be called in for lucrative deals. And this is the way it works everywhere. Placements on lucrative board seats, book deals, consulting agreements, funding from foundations and philanthropies, stock options, start-up capital, and etcetera is acquired not from government work, but from the things people owe you from your time in government. Throughout the conversation, Jeffrey Epstein is arranging, through his vast and powerful network, to broker board seats to the tune of several million dollars for Ehud Barak. However much money he made in government is dwarfed by the multimillions of dollars his friend Epstein can help him make afterwards by calling in IOUs. This was one of Epstein’s roles in this global network.

A major benefit of this network is insider trading. Epstein was able to gather sensitive economic information from top-ranking officials and businessmen. One example found in the files is Peter Mandelson, who was “for all intents and purposes deputy prime minister” of the UK. Mandelson was a top-level policy operative imbedded in the British government. In the wake of the 2008 financial crisis, he leaked highly sensitive government information, including advanced knowledge of bailouts and asset sales. In June of 2009, he sent Epstein a Downing Street memo on asset sales, with the comment: “Interesting note that’s gone to the PM.” Two months later, he leaked a confidential banking memo seconds after receiving it. Then in May of 2010, he tipped Epstein off about a €500 billion bailout, saying “[should] be announced tonight.” He even gave advance notice of PM Gordon Brown’s resignation, saying “finally got him to go today.”

Epstein was the fixer, and Mandelson was the inside man. Insider trading was another of Epstein’s roles.

Interestingly, Epstein also met with Zelensky a couple months before he rose to power as the president of Ukraine in May of 2019. Also in May of 2019, Zelensky solicited help from Epstein, saying Putin was being dismissive and claiming he’s run by Israelis. Five years prior, Epstein told Ariane de Rothschild in an email that “ukraine upheaval should provide many opportunities, many.” It would seem they planned on getting in on the Ukraine crisis, and profiting from the ensuing chaos and destabilization.

The files also contain a number of documents alleging that Zelensky is complicit in trafficking women and children, with one saying, “WHY IS THE MEDIA SO QUIET THAT UKRAINE IS INVOLVED IN THE EPSTEIN TRAFFICKING RING? JEAN LUC BRUNEL WASN’T IN UKRAINE FOR THE WEATHER, JUST SAYING HEY ZELENSKY!” Another file describes Jean Luc Brunel as “a model recruiter [who] was frequently around Epstein. Brunel would bring girls to Epstein. Many of the girls Brunel brought to Epstein had poor English language skills and appeared to be very young.”

Throughout the files, it becomes apparent that Epstein had many connections to “model recruiters” and scouts who were constantly finding young women for him. There were plenty of people emailing him about young girls, sending pictures of them, discussing getting in touch with them, and whether or not Epstein was interested in them. A recurring theme is promises being made to these girls about modeling contracts and acting careers. Epstein’s connections to Hollywood also played a role here. In one email from June 20, 2010 he told a girl, “Brett Ratner is going to film a big movie, snow white, I would love to take photos of you in a snow white costume. You can get it from the costume store.” To which she replied, “Will get it!” Then, on July 9, 2010, the former CEO of Barclays and JP Asset Management, Jes Staley emailed Epstein saying, “That was fun. Say hi to Snow White.” Epstein replied, “what character would you like next”? Another email to Epstein on July 10, 2010 reads, “the snow white was f..ed twice as soon as she put her costume”. It would seem Mr. Staley has a thing for Disney characters, as his reply to Epstein was, “beauty and the beast”; and another document in the files that appears to be written by a victim states, “The disgusting Mr. Staley if anyone ever calls me tinkerbell again I will lose my mind. He left bloody marks on my arms from his belt…”

This brings us to the part of Epstein’s operation that has gotten the most attention: human trafficking. This is another of Epstein’s roles. In order to expand the network, make deals, make his clients happy, gather intel, acquire kompromat, and push an agenda forward, one thing he offered was young beautiful women. Through his network, he could secretly and discretely fulfill the desires of those in powerful positions. And since this was done discretely, it didn’t matter how immoral or illegal it might be. Epstein could get whatever was desired – girls? Boys? Doesn’t matter how young. Torture? Murder? Epstein was the man that could provide. There may not necessarily be any smoking guns in the files, but there’s a preponderance of evidence pointing to this being the case. There is a lot of documentation of similar stories, as well as evidence in Epstein’s own emails, and the emails and messages of those close to him that may have been co-conspirators. In one email, Epstein wrote, “I loved the torture video.” The recipient, Sultan Ahmed bin Sulayem, has recently stepped down from his position as chairman and CEO of DP World due to the revelation of his email exchanges with Epstein. In another email, someone seems to have attempted to blackmail Epstein for bitcoin, claiming that “somewhere in the hills outside the Zorro, two foreign girls were buried on orders of Jeffrey and Madam G. Both died by strangulation during rough, fetish sex”:

It’s blatantly obvious that Epstein preferred very young girls. In one email, he tells a recruiter that a 24 year old girl looks too old. In fact, there are plenty of emails about girls being too old. During Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial in connection to Epstein and sex trafficking, one victim claimed she became “too old” at 18. In that trial, victims alleged to be groomed and abused from as young as 10 years old. While going through the files, I’ve read mentions of children as young as 7 and 8. One email that stands out as particularly strange is of someone emailing Epstein a picture of someone’s 5 year old daughter. Curiously, Epstein emailed a prominent lawyer to ask about the legality of “sex tourism” with minors:

But how did Jeffrey Epstein get away with all of this for so long? Yes, he was well-connected to many of the most powerful people in the world, but that isn’t even the full story. Mainstream reporting on Epstein was, at one time, relatively open about his ties to intelligence. British media reported as early as 1992 and throughout the early 2000s that he had ties with both US and Israeli intelligence1. With his close ties to powerful connections in the UK, it is now also believed that he had ties with British intelligence as well. Given that Robert Maxwell, Ghislaine Maxwell’s father, also had deep ties to multiple different intelligence agencies, this isn’t far-fetched. Additionally, there are FBI documents released in the files with claims he was trained as an Israeli spy. Not only that, but there is a text conversation where Epstein says, “going into a scif talk tomorrow.”

Another file shows this same conversation in a different format, with Epstein’s name unredacted, but Bannon’s name redacted

What is a SCIF, you may ask? From Google’s AI overview: “SCIF stands for Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility. It is a secure, accredited, and enclosed area within a building, ship, or temporary site designed to prevent unauthorized personnel from eavesdropping on or accessing high-level classified intelligence.” If Epstein is going into a SCIF, he has access to high-level intelligence. In addition to all that, Alex Acosta, who served as US attorney for Southern Florida during Epstein’s 2008 “sweetheart deal,” had been told by unspecified figures at the time that he needed to give Epstein a lenient sentence because of his links to “intelligence”1. He also later disclosed that he had signed off on the deal because Epstein “had belonged to intelligence”1. Jeffrey Epstein had backers and benefactors powerful enough that he had a Get Out of Jail Free card, giving him basically untouchable status. Finally, it seems that Epstein was somehow tipped off when the FBI launched a renewed federal investigation into his sex trafficking operation on December 6, 2018. Documents in the files reveal that on that same day, Epstein purchased six 55-gallon drums of sulfuric acid. While there are legitimate uses for sulfuric acid, this amount is a little excessive to say the least. The files also reveal that their usual order seemed to be about two drums every one and a half to two years. Suddenly tripling that is curious, especially on that particular day. As for illegitimate uses, sulfuric acid could be used for destroying evidence (human remains, for example). It is more than likely that Epstein operated at a very high level in intelligence.

Circa 1990, former CIA officer and Iran-Contra whistleblower, Bruce Hemmings, said the following – and I believe it offers pertinent insight into not only intelligence agencies at large, but Jeffrey Epstein’s activities in particular:

Who are these people?… They are in and outside [the] CIA. They are… Right Wing Republicans, …Democrats, mercenaries, ex officio Mafia and opportunists within the group. They are CEOs, they are bankers, they are presidents, they own airlines, they own national television networks… and they do not give a damn about the law or the Constitution or the Congress or the Oversight committees except as something to be subverted and manipulated and lied to.

They abhor sunlight and love darkness. They deal in innuendo and character assassination, and planted stories, the incomplete thought and sentence. They burn and shred files if caught, they commit perjury, and when caught they have guaranteed sinecures with large US corporations.

If you let them, they will take over not only [the] CIA but the entire government and the world, cutting off dissent, free speech, a free media, and they will cut a deal with anyone, from [the] Mafia to Saddam Hussein, if it means more power and money. They stole $600 billion from the S&L’s and then diverted our attention to the Iraqis… They flooded our country with drugs from Central America during the 1980s, cut deals with Haro in Mexico, Noriega in Panama, and the Medillin and Cali cartels, and Castro, and recently the Red Mafia in the KGB.

They ruin their detractors and they fear the truth. If they can, they will blackmail you. Sex, drugs, deals, whatever it takes.

-Quoted in Webb1

In the world of espionage, there exists the acronym MICE: Money, Ideology, Compromise/Coercion (blackmail), Ego. These are motivations for espionage, and are used in counterintelligence as well as recruitment to motivate individuals to betray their country, company, organization, etc. In short, these are the four main pillars used to coopt people into joining a cause. It seems to me that Epstein was able to use these very effectively in his own operations. He had access to vast finances for funding which gave him an enormous amount of influence; and he had cameras everywhere while running a sex trafficking ring in order to compromise and coerce those in powerful positions, if need be. The sex trafficking may have also played into Ego, as powerful people were able to “live on top of the world” as it were, and fulfill their deepest desires, no matter how depraved.

Honestly, the release of the files has been done in such a way that makes it difficult to digest. Over 3 million files all at once, with no structure, no context, no categorization, no guidance for any coherent connections. The UI is clunky and on the surface the whole thing looks sloppy. But it makes me wonder if this was not, in fact, deliberate. The Trump administration has been dragging their feet, reluctant to release any of the files. Early on, they announced that they would, but have since tried to walk it back, again and again. They say these 3 million are half of the files, but within the files, an FBI email exchange says there are over 16 TB of data. Supposedly, that means these 3 million files actually only make up 2% of the files. It is also important to keep in mind that only FBI files will be released to the public. Anything the CIA has will stay hidden away.

Internet sleuths are still going through the files and finding more and more every day. There is just so much to piece together. Anyone trying to convince you there is nothing there is either stupid or lying. This is the biggest news story of our lifetime.

  1. Webb, Whitney. One Nation Under Blackmail Vol. 1. Trine Day LLC, 2022. ↩︎

Divide and Conquer: How Propaganda Shapes Perception in Society

Propaganda thrives on negative emotion.

Do you believe in magic? Have you ever been hypnotized? What if I told you that in this day and age, regardless of what you may believe, the real answer is most likely yes.

In both subtle and obvious ways, throughout our entire lives we are conditioned. Our personalities are molded in a myriad of ways, from the meal training given in early childhood, to the steadiness or chaos of our upbringing; from the reservedness of our friends to the discipline of our schools and the competitiveness of our clubs1; from the advertisements in your periphery to the movies you watch; from social media, to the news media. Everything in your environment is going to influence you. For good or bad, there’s no way around it. But – and this is especially so with modern technology – many of these influences can be deliberately manufactured and manipulated to affect your beliefs and behaviour. The modern means of mass communication bring the entire world daily into each and everyone’s hands; the techniques of propaganda have been refined and systematized; and there is scarcely any hiding place from the constant visual and verbal assault on the mind¹. Through systematized suggestion, subtle propaganda, and more overt mass hypnosis, the human mind in its expressions is changed daily in any society¹. You are unwittingly controlled by the magician, the hypnotist, the propagandist.

Propaganda thrives on negative emotion. It stirs up powerful emotions: outrage, anger, hatred. It takes your anxieties, your frustrations, and directs them at an intended target. It subtly changes your thought patterns. It manipulates your beliefs and behaviour. All without you ever realizing – as if it were a magic trick, or hypnosis. But how does it do this?

People are not the rational creatures they think they are. Most believe that their opinions, ideas, and conclusions are all made consciously, when in actuality, 95% of human thinking is subconscious – and is a response to accustomed patterns2. Only the remaining 5% is conscious thought, and of that, only a part is a consequence of reason². And underneath it all, in the unconscious, lies a storehouse of deeply buried memories, emotion, and strivings, including many infantile and irrational yearnings, which constantly influence the conscious acts¹. Humans do not construct their beliefs and attitudes by reason. We are primarily emotional creatures that operate largely via subconscious pattern recognition. There are plenty of times when we think we’ve reached a conclusion based on logic and reasoning, but we are in fact just rationalizing an emotional reaction.

Effective propaganda (and what is now called Psychological Operations or PsyOp) therefore targets this kind of thinking. It plays on emotion, memories, desires and attempts to stimulate the subject (ie. you) into interpreting patterns in the desired way. It targets your thoughts, not at their expression, but at their construction. This subsequently shifts beliefs and behaviours.

In fact, “reality” itself hinges on one’s cultural indoctrination, education, experiences, prejudices, desires, and emotions². The sum total of all of this serves as the lens through which it is “perceived as reality”². This means, by altering these things, we may alter one’s perception of reality. Think of them as knobs or dials that can be used to tune in to, or fine-tune, one’s reality. This “reality” also includes assumptions concerning the population, both individually and as a whole, of which some are politically and culturally acceptable and others are not². For instance race, religion, sex, the role of the genders, slavery, economic systems, and political ideologies are all factors with extremely powerful influence².

So what does this propaganda look like? Let’s start with a simple, ancient technique: Divide and conquer. This strategy breaks down groups (typically opposition) into smaller parts, weakening them by preventing their unity, and allowing the divider to gain or maintain power and control. Ideally, they can then additionally use these smaller parts to impede and attack the remaining opposition. Nowadays, it commonly takes the form of one of the following: left vs right, republican vs democrat, liberal vs conservative, identity group vs identity group. These false dialectics are all a big political melodrama that play out across mainstream and social media. It’s kabuki theatre. It is the misdirection in the magician’s trick: it grabs your attention, it conjures emotional outrage, and leaves you believing in the magic show.

The target audience is identified, then fed carefully selected information, and emotions are prodded and pushed until behaviour changes. The goal here is to isolate the target audience, pump them full of outrage, and ultimately create a tribal us versus them mentality. This tribal thinking will result in such a strong in-group preference, and such a strong out-group devaluation that people will believe any lie about the other side, cheer when people suffer, and excuse things they would never excuse if it were happening in their own neighbourhood. This is the playbook for how to get otherwise decent, kind people applauding for and laughing at violence and murder on the internet. It is how a country is radicalized without firing a shot.

Identity groups are commonly used and pitted against each other for this purpose – especially in Canada. Canada is uniquely situated for this to be particularly effective, as it has a philosophy of being a “cultural mosaic,” as opposed to something like the U.S. philosophy of the “melting pot.” The melting pot means that people of different cultures and backgrounds entering the U.S. should all melt together, and become American first and foremost, prioritizing American values over any previous ones. It is a cultural philosophy of assimilation: American culture comes first in America. The cultural mosaic, on the other hand, is a philosophy where people of different cultures and backgrounds get to keep their culture and their values, and fit together like a mosaic inside of Canada (and thus Canadian culture is not prioritized – which is a large factor in why it is dying out). This has made Canada an ideal playground for divide and conquer tactics. Not all cultures are equal, and many of them have incompatible views and values. This makes it easy to pin them against each other. Canada offers plenty of identity groups to pick and choose from – to grandstand for, and to demonize. It’s no wonder that this is a go-to strategy for the Canadian government. Justin Trudeau loved to do this, invoking the LGBT community as a political shield to deflect, calling unvaccinated people racists and misogynists, or ironically calling his political opposition divisive. The Canadian government and the media apparatus that supports them largely use this technique to obfuscate problems, corruption, and crimes; and to insulate and protect themselves from accountability. Recently, the tribal mentality of Liberal versus Conservative resulted in people harassing and review bombing a restaurant in western Canada, simply for hosting Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre.

But this can be taken even further. What do you think happens when the media portrays the people that disagree with you, not as your fellow citizens or your neighbours, but as an enemy or a threat that needs to be destroyed? As a danger to society? What if they suggest that violence against them may be justified? Or even necessary?

Consider the Two Minutes Hate in George Orwell’s 1984. Citizens were forced to participate in a daily, mandatory ritual of expressing rage and hatred against a manufactured enemy on a telescreen. Collective negative emotion was thus directed away from the ruling Party and toward a scapegoat, while those participating learned to deny any counternarrative, any semblance of truth that disagreed with the Party, by hating the person speaking it:

The programmes of the Two Minutes Hate varied from day to day, but there was none in which Goldstein was not the principal figure. He was the primal traitor, the earliest defiler of the Party’s purity. All subsequent crimes against the Party, all treacheries, acts of sabotage, heresies, deviations, sprang directly out of his teaching…

Goldstein was delivering his usual venomous attack upon the doctrines of the Party – an attack so exaggerated and perverse that a child should have been able to see through it, and yet just plausible enough to fill one with an alarmed feeling that other people, less level-headed than oneself, might be taken in by it. He was abusing Big Brother, he was denouncing the dictatorship of the Party, he was demanding the immediate conclusion of peace with Eurasia, he was advocating freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, freedom of thought…

And all the while, lest one should be in any doubt as to the reality which Goldstein’s specious claptrap covered, behind his head on the telescreen there marched the endless columns of the Eurasian army – row after row of solid-looking men with expressionless Asiatic faces, who swam up to the surface of the screen and vanished, to be replaced by others exactly similar. The dull rhythmic tramp of the soldiers’ boots formed the background to Goldstein’s bleating voice…

In its second minute the Hate rose to a frenzy. People were leaping up and down in their places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the maddening bleating voice that came from the screen… In a lucid moment Winston found that he was shouting with the others and kicking his heel violently against the rung of his chair. The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one’s will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic.

(Orwell, 14-17)3

There are a couple of important points in this passage that I would like to cover. First is another common technique that is readily apparent: Pavlovian conditioning. In this technique, the propagandist ties two things together in a way that makes the audience create an association between them in their mind. This is typically done in such a way as to elicit a desired emotional reaction from the target audience. Remember: what’s important here is not for the audience to consciously connect these things, but for them to do so subconsciously, and therefore eventually transplant their thoughts and emotions tied to one thing onto the other. In this case in 1984, the target of hate, Goldstein, is shown on the telescreen with enemy soldiers marching in the background. This creates the association of Goldstein with the enemy, and whatever thoughts and feelings the audience has for this enemy will end up also being connected to Goldstein. When this conditioning eventually sets in and is successful, the affected audience will have an involuntary emotional response to Goldstein, the same as they would have to enemy soldiers, but without the need for the military imagery.

Another important takeaway from this is the mob mentality – the inability to resist joining in. This can act like a sort of group hypnosis, where the individual loses their individuality, rationality, and moral compass. The more the individual feels himself to be part of the group, the more easily he can become the victim of mass suggestion¹. Since the society in 1984 is totalitarian, this group psychology dynamic gets into Mass Formation (which I will discuss more in-depth in a later post). This is a form of group hypnosis that destroys the individual’s ethical self-awareness and robs them of their ability to think critically4. George Orwell’s Two Minutes Hate touches on this hypnotic effect, and reveals the destruction of ethics via the “desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer [that] seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current”³.

Thank God that was only fiction. In the real world, Two Minutes Hate is actually 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and is accessible at any time, from anywhere, via your favourite device – TV, computer, smart phone. Through the media, you are deliberately shown what makes you angry and hateful. They’ll show you the worst of the other side: the extreme, the fringe; the loud, the dumb; the professional lunatics. The more enraged you are, the more you will stay hooked on the narrative.

Before we get into specific real-world examples of these principles and techniques in action, let’s go over Chase Hughes’ three step formula5 for radicalization through divide and conquer tactics:

  1. Isolation: the goal here is to isolate the target audience so that they do not interact with people who disagree; they don’t date them, they don’t work with them; they cut anyone who disagrees out of their lives. (This is also step 1 of joining a cult)
  2. Echo Chambers: the goal here is to have the target audience surround themselves only with opinions that sound the same. Social media can make sure of this with its algorithms. As Yuval Noah Harari has said, “power is in the hands of those who control the algorithms.” And the algorithms serve you more of what already stirs up negative emotion like anger, outrage, and frustration. The echo chambers ensure that rage gets recycled and concentrated. (This is also step 2 of joining a cult)
  3. Tribal Script: this is the creation of the us versus them narrative. The goal is for the target audience to view themselves as righteous, while the other side is evil. Every issue is framed like a holy war – it doesn’t matter if it’s education, taxes, or healthcare; they are all treated as life or death, good versus evil. With outrage and righteous superiority, people will feel morally justified in hating the other side, silencing them, and celebrating violence. This is true radicalization.

So what does this look like in the real world? For this example, we turn to the United States of America. Let’s take a look at the following clips from the media leading up to Trump’s second term:

Notice anything familiar? These are just a few examples of the media shaping the political climate in the years leading up to where we are now. But how does this affect public behaviour?

For that, let’s turn to the recent events involving ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement). ICE has been at the center of controversy since Donald Trump took office last year. In sanctuary cities, law enforcement at the local levels have been ordered not to cooperate with ICE. Local police do not hand over criminals in their custody to ICE; instead, they let them go free. This has forced ICE to go out into the streets to hunt down criminal illegal aliens. And, in turn, it has given politicians and the media the opportunity to spin the story: ICE is like the Gestapo – the secret police of Nazi Germany. Here we see the media continuing the narrative of fascist, Nazi, authoritarian symbolism and linking that to the current Trump administration. We know this is Pavlovian conditioning, but let’s examine it further.

Let’s look at immigration before Trump versus immigration after Trump. Below is a compilation of politicians speaking about illegal immigration and deportations before Trump’s Presidency, juxtaposed with politicians after Trump took office:

Unsurprisingly, tensions have been rising over the past year. Time, fear and continual pressure are known to create a menticidal hypnosis¹. As such, a radicalized fringe minority has taken to the streets. Protesters have been clashing with federal agents at various ICE facilities for months. Then, in September 2025, an anti-ICE shooter opened fire on an ICE facility in Dallas from a nearby rooftop, killing two detained illegal immigrants, and injuring a third. But it doesn’t end there.

To get a good look at how this really affects public behaviour, let’s talk about Minnesota. Tensions rose to a boiling point when an anti-ICE protester taunted ICE officers, ignored their commands, and then drove her vehicle at one of them. She was shot and killed. And the media finally got what it had been pushing for: a catalyst for outrage against ICE.

Below are a number of videos following this event that show mobs in the grip of propaganda’s magic, hypnotic effect. Take a look at where we are now:

Throughout these clips, we see the repetition of words like racist, Nazi, and fascist. Didn’t we hear those somewhere before? But, what do they mean? The truth is, these words have lost their communicative function – they no longer have intrinsic meaning. They have been turned into conditioners, emotional triggers, serving to imprint the desired reaction patterns onto their hearers¹. They are battle cries and Pavlovian signals¹. Just like in the passage from 1984, Pavlovian conditioning to these special words forces people into an automatic thinking that is tied to them¹. Catchwords like these help the individual to rationalize immorality and evil into morality and good¹. They are a suggestive intrusion masquerading under the name of justice or some morally righteous cause. What do you do when a fascist, or a Nazi is right in front of you? What is the correct course of action when this person is a threat to your society? To your existence? These questions, and the answers to them are all tied to these catchwords. The meaning of these words no longer matters – it is the emotions evoked by them that holds weight. The individual citizen becomes a parrot, repeating ready-made slogans and propaganda catchwords without understanding what they really mean, or what forces stand behind them¹.

Here’s another question to think about: what do you think happens when anyone and everyone who disagrees with this radicalized fringe population is called a racist, a Nazi, a fascist? These words end up losing all meaning in the common discourse as well. People stop caring about racists and fascists, because those words don’t mean anything anymore. And then there are some who will embrace the new identity given to them. They get caught up in the drama and theatrics, and feel pushed into the opposite fringe side. This polarization effectively radicalizes both sides.

To this end, the media are not showing you reality of any kind, but a narrative designed to put you on a side, keep you in a loyal tribal mindset, and addicted to their twisted version of reality. What is happening in Minnesota isn’t some side effect or byproduct of politics or the media – it is deliberate. And the outcome predictable. They show you the fringe lunatics on one side screaming about how “you’re either with us or against us,” and create a false dichotomy, pitting different groups against each other. When this inevitably escalates to a breaking point, debate breaks down, negotiations become impossible, and violence ensues.

Chase Hughes talks about the “concrete law of history”⁵: The moment your ideas require violence to enforce or spread, they are already completely bankrupt. Every tyrant, failed ideology, social collapse starts the same way: the debate dies, then violence takes the place of debate, and you can’t argue with a gun⁵.

But consider for a moment, what isn’t the media showing you? They will never show you how much you have in common with people who vote differently than you. If you strip away all the talking points, what do regular people actually want? We want safety, stability, a roof over our heads, a partner, kids, and some food to feed them – and we want some honesty from the people who claim to represent us. You have more in common with your neighbour, with the people across the political aisle that may disagree with you, than you have with media CEOs and politicians – with psychopaths and profiteers – with those parading their narrative over the media.

I bring attention to the ICE situation just as an example of how this can manifest in the real world. The goal is to look at this as a phenomena. Did you feel any outrage? There are a few questions like this we should be asking ourselves when we see things like this in the media: How does it make you feel? Are you angry? Outraged? Recognize the emotions that are being stimulated. Why does it make you feel that way? Is it the way it’s being framed? How is it being framed? Notice the choice of words being used. Is there anything missing? Think of a few questions about it. And ask yourself, who benefits from this?

The battlefield is not some far away place. It is in your living room, your bedroom, your office; on your phone, your TV, your computer screen. There is an ongoing war for your mind. So how can you best prepare and defend yourself? I think a good starting point is to follow Chase Hughes’ suggestion to pledge to yourself the following⁵:

  • Do not let the media decide for you who your neighbour is.
  • Do not let propaganda tell you who to hate.
  • Do not let political violence become normal.
  • Do not cheer for blood.
  • Choose sanity, unity, and to see the humanity in people before their politics.
  • And finally, I would like to add one more: Do not allow yourself to live in a world where there is no room for love.

Being aware of these techniques and tactics, and how this all really works will also help you recognize when this is playing out in the real world, right before your eyes. There’s still a lot more still to come on topics like this, so don’t forget to follow the blog via email or Facebook. You can also help get the word out by sharing this via the social media links below. As always, I thank you for your support.

  1. Meerloo, Joost. The Rape of the Mind. Martino Publishing, 2015. ↩︎
  2. Aquino, Michael A. MindWar. Barony of Rachane, 2013. ↩︎
  3. Orwell, George. 1984. Penguin Group, 2000. ↩︎
  4. Desmet, Mattias. The Psychology of Totalitarianism. Chelsea Green Publishing, 2022. ↩︎
  5. Chase Hughes: https://www.youtube.com/@chasehughesofficial ↩︎

What Happens Next?

Turn your fear into faith. Hope for the best, do your best, free yourself from worry, regret nothing.

A few years ago my health took a turn for the worse. And a couple years into declining health, I wrote the following:

Last time I went through a crisis like this, I thought, ‘I’m the toughest person I know,’ and I managed to push through it. Through the problems, through the surgeries, through the pain. But I’m not so sure I’m that tough anymore. I’ve come to realize I’m just someone who can’t give up. No matter how much I want to. And I’ve never wanted to more than now. Something deep inside me just knows that’s not an option. I’ve been straddling this line between “I don’t want to do this anymore” and “I just have to get through this.” But I do constantly wonder, is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I still can’t see it yet. It’s been so long and I still can’t see it yet.

I’ve struggled with this for about ten years now, but nothing’s been worse than these last two. Not my previous surgeries, not what caused them. This is the hardest it’s ever gotten. The most difficult it’s ever been. The pain. The lack of energy. Feeling like I just can’t do anything. Helpless. It’s rough.

Yet, before this whole episode, I remember someone asking me how I could have so much hope for the future, and it really caught me off-guard. I didn’t understand. All I could think was, ‘how could you not?’ I don’t get the concept of not having hope. Why would you wake up in the morning? How could you? When it comes right down to it, hope is the only thing we truly have.

Turn your fear into faith. Hope for the best, do your best, free yourself from worry, regret nothing.

Even though it was years ago, it feels like this is all still right behind me. But I am doing better now and it’s time to move on. I have spent a lot of time reading and keeping up with current events, as well as continuing to study what I focused on in university: Societal systems of control – propaganda, media, culture, religion, psychology, philosophy. What guides or pushes society in any given direction, and how? How does the world really work? To move on, I must write. These are the topics and questions I will explore and investigate in upcoming blog posts.

If you follow the news or recent events at all, you may think the world is going to hell. The West is in a death spiral. And with the overwhelming amount of information out there – both true and untrue – it can be extremely confusing and exhausting to parse. You may not realize it, but we are in the midst of a spiritual war – a war for your mind.

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. Sickness is health. Why does it seem like these statements can so accurately describe the narrative of our current times? Is everything really so backwards? How did we get here? I’m reminded of a core principle of propaganda: Everything in this world is neither good nor evil, but public opinion makes it so. This means no matter what good or evil outcome is desired in the world, warping public opinion makes it possible to accomplish. You can convince the masses that evil is good, or good is evil through propaganda. Things may seem bleak, but whatever problem we find ourselves in, there is still hope. So how do we turn this around?

Plato argued that a unified narrative was required for a stable society. Currently, we have internet algorithms giving us a plethora of narratives so different that they are nearly impossible to reconcile. It is difficult to have a meaningful conversation with someone when you can’t even agree on basic facts. We are basically speaking different languages at this point, and everything is falling apart. It’s a modern day tower of Babel.

I will be discussing this and so much more in what’s to come. I wish to deep dive the problems plaguing society. They say a lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. I aim to be that truth that has finally put its pants on.

You can subscribe to this blog with your email to stay up to date with my posts, or you can follow me on Facebook. I am truly grateful for your support.

Home

Everything back home looks pretty much the same, but at the same time, this place is unrecognizable.

I’ve finally arrived back home. It feels strange to be back. Everything is the same but oddly different. There’s an ominous tension in the air that wasn’t there before. I feel like I’ve stepped into some kind of mental institution.

I’ve been wondering why I’ve felt this way, and I’m confident it’s because of the rules and restrictions surrounding COVID. They were – and are – baffling. I can’t find any logic behind most of them, and none of these things were necessary in Japan. And then I looked at the narrative of the media in Canada, and it started making sense. The propaganda here is incredibly strong. I didn’t expect that this would ever happen in this country. I watched a video of Trudeau stating, “we will get out of this pandemic by vaccination,” and I thought, ‘wow. That didn’t age well.’ And then I realized that clip was from only a few days prior. What? Is it not common knowledge that the vaccinated are still spreading the disease? I thought we’d known this for over a year now. The vaccinated can contract the virus. They can transmit the virus. And they have the same viral load as the unvaccinated. How is it even conceivable that the vaccine could stop anything? Especially in the face of Omicron.

But the thing about propaganda is that it’s like an illusion. If you’re standing where intended, you’re under the spell. For me, not being in Canada for all that time meant I was not standing in that intended spot. I’m a fresh frog who’s been tossed into a Canada-sized pot of boiling water, while the other frogs haven’t taken notice of the drastic change in temperature. And what I was witnessing was unbelievable.

And there’s an explanation as to why: Astroturfing, censorship, and the merger of state, media and tech. Astroturfing is a relatively new method that the establishment uses to carefully construct a narrative designed to manipulate people’s opinions. This is when political, corporate and special interests disguise themselves to publish comments, reviews, ads, and articles to elevate their own agenda, and smear or “debunk” anyone who disagrees with them. Their goal is to convince people that there’s widespread support for, or against, an agenda when there isn’t. It’s a type of artificial reality they construct around you. Sometimes Astroturfers intentionally shove out so much confusing and conflicting information as to make it nigh impossible to tell what’s true. A few easy identifiers for astroturfing include when the terms crank, quack, nutty, lies, paranoid, pseudo, and conspiracy are used. They claim to “debunk” myths that aren’t myths at all. In our current climate, they repetitively use the term “anti-vaxxer.” Seeing any of these terms should be a red flag to think twice about what’s being presented. I highly recommend watching this video for more information. In it, Sharyl Attkisson states that these methods are “now more important to [special] interests than the traditional lobbying of congress. There’s an entire industry built around it in Washington.” And this was in 2015.

Next, let’s look at the Trusted News Initiative. The Trusted News Initiative (TNI) began in 2019 when the BBC brought together Big Tech and other large media companies including Facebook/Instagram, Google/Youtube, Twitter, Microsoft, Reuters, CBC/Radio-Canada, European Broadcasting Union (EBU), the Washington Post, just to name a few. People were losing trust in established mainstream news sources (after realizing they were being lied to repeatedly), and the TNI wanted to bring corporations together and rectify the situation globally. The original goal of the TNI was to stop “disinformation which threatens human life or disrupts democracy during elections.” On the surface, this doesn’t necessarily seem nefarious, but there are major conflicts of interest at play here. Government tax money (ie. YOUR money) is given to Big Pharma, which spends a massive amount advertising with TNI corporations, who, as it so happens, also have investments in Big Pharma, and some of that money eventually makes it back to select politicians. Even before the pandemic, they had reported that anti-vaxxers were gaining traction on social media as part of a “fake news” movement that was spreading “misleading and dangerous information”. Then, after the pandemic began, that turned into stopping so-called “disinformation” about the vaccine. They went on to disseminate massive amounts of pro-vaccine messages, while demonizing the unvaccinated to force compliance.

TNI corporations cleverly pretend to be giving you the news – the truth – but in actuality it’s essentially just a disguised advertisement – that isn’t actually concerned about the truth at all. Its purpose is to promote specific narratives and to silence any dissenting voices – by censoring, demeaning, de-platforming, delegitimizing, and de-licensing them. They became even more heavy handed in their approach when they decided that stopping so-called “disinformation” about the vaccine would include censoring any content that promoted “vaccine hesitancy.” And what might that mean? Anything that would make one hesitant to take the vaccine – any information, no matter how factual, was and is, to be quashed, silenced, “debunked,” de-legitimized, etc. What about adverse events? Not allowed to talk about them. People across social media have been demonized for even bringing up their experiences. At best, adverse events will be played down – the severity underreported, and language twisted to highlight positives and sweep negatives under the rug (as seen with myocarditis, when a number of publications tried to claim that it was mild and temporary – when this affects children, and young males in particular, at an alarming rate, can permanently damage the heart muscle, and is hospitalizing over 80% of those that have this adverse reaction (additional related video here)). This is a huge problem. How are people supposed to make informed decisions if they are being fed such heavily biased information? In Canada, by law, a healthcare professional is required to inform patients of the risks and benefits of each treatment option as well as the probabilities of success and failure. This is called informed consent, and it is actively being blocked by the TNI in regards to the vaccine.

The TNI also pays for “fact checkers” to run false fact checks and hit pieces on doctors, scientists and journalists who contradict the official narrative. Fact checkers may sound authoritative, but they often only have a bachelor’s degree, and can sometimes just be an intern with a high school diploma. Let that sink in for a moment. These people are fact checking doctors and scientists. And I have seen a number of doctors and scientists frustrated that fact checkers didn’t understand the literature on what they were “fact checking.” Two good examples are this article by Heather Heying, and Part III of this post by Joomi Kim. When Facebook was sued over their fact checks by John Stossel, they admitted in court that the fact checks were merely opinions (and therefore immune from defamation). And yet these opinions are presented in a misleading way, so that they are thought of as fact – why else call them fact checkers? Not only that, they argued that they should be able to do so because of freedom of speech. Imagine that. They get to curate and infringe upon the freedom of speech of others, and that should be protected by freedom of speech. Do I really need to point out that freedom of speech, by nature, isn’t supposed to be one-sided?

Remember when prominent biologists and doctors hypothesized that COVID-19 may have come from a lab? I do. I also remember when those people were smeared across the state/corporate press and Big Tech platforms for it. Now this is accepted as the most plausible explanation for the origin of SARS-CoV-2. This exemplifies how no one is not allowed to think or discuss ideas outside of the carefully constructed narrative. Only when something is brought into the fold of the narrative by Big Tech and the state/corporate news entities is it an acceptable topic. And when, or if, they do reluctantly bring something like this into the fold, it’s usually months or years behind the doctors and scientists who have been fighting to get the message out, or at the very least, just have a discussion. This isn’t news. It’s a façade. It’s global information control. They’ve stopped scientific discussion and debate. Doctors, who spend their time literally saving lives, are not and have not been permitted to even discuss the best way forward on how to continue to save lives. How can they possibly practice the most effective way to do so under such circumstances? The answer is obvious: They can’t. The TNI is forcing us to shoot ourselves in the foot. With a cannon. During a global pandemic.

Also in 2019, $600 million of taxpayer money was given by the Trudeau government to select Canadian news outlets. Select outlets, meaning whoever was in the position to choose the outlets had the power to pick the ones that would do exactly what they wanted. And the Trudeau Liberals were in that position. Instead of being able to choose which media companies to support, Canadians were forced to bail out media of the government’s choosing. And during this pandemic we’ve seen certain Canadian publications in lockstep with the narrative, doing the exact same thing as the TNI. They are easy enough to spot, if you keep an eye out for them.

One additional thing I’d like to point out is how many logical fallacies are used to prop up the validity of the constructed narrative. Just as Dr. John Campbell points out in his Ivermectin debunking video, people are taking the word of reporters and politicians rather than listening to doctors presenting data. This is an appeal to (false) authority. The media has been rife with pushing logical fallacies such as this. Appeals to authority, appeals to emotion, ad hominem attacks, false equivalencies, red herrings, poisoning the well, sweeping generalizations, post hoc ergo proptor hoc, are just some of the first that come to mind. It is important to keep these in mind when considering the validity of an argument. This is especially so with everything going on right now.

From studying propaganda in university, there is one rule that has always stuck in my mind: Everything in this world is neither good nor evil, but public opinion makes it so. That is to say, no matter what good or evil you wish to accomplish, warping public opinion makes it possible. You can convince them evil is good, or vice versa, through propaganda. You just need to nudge them psychologically until they’re standing in the right spot.

Now let’s get back to being in Canada. Everything back home looks pretty much the same, but at the same time, this place is unrecognizable. The values that Canadians held fundamentally dear to them have begun to dissolve, and sadly, for many, they have dissolved.

The Canadian “leaders” have circumvented parliament to enact policies and regulations that break multiple parts of our Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, effectively acting like some kind of dictatorship. Not only did they skirt the democratic process, but they also did not follow any of the other stringent rules set in place for overriding any part of the Charter. For example, no cost-benefit analysis was done for anything put in place at all. Our freedom of movement; freedom of conscience; freedom of assembly; freedom of association; freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression; right to life, liberty and security of person (including our freedom of bodily autonomy and right to informed consent) have all eroded or have been discarded completely. This is illegal. What our government has done, and is doing, is illegal. And yet the media is in lockstep with the government on this. It’s insane. But luckily for Canadians, there may still be hope. The last surviving first minister to help write the Charter of Rights and Freedoms in 1982 is suing the federal government because of this. Our rights as Canadian citizens are not being upheld. They are being trampled upon by our so-called “leaders,” who are not being held accountable for any of their actions. Here is a video with Brian Peckford explaining his lawsuit and the situation in general. Every Canadian should watch that video. If our rights continue to erode, before we know it, we won’t have any. We will be subject to the whims of whoever is in power, no matter their wish. The Charter expresses our fundamental values – the values our country is based on. Human rights. And they are undemocratically being abandoned.

This is not the Canada that I once knew. I used to be proud to be Canadian. Life here now is a spinning circus. Democracy in this country has been revoked, in favor of a dictatorial regime. Scientific data, as well as our values, have been discarded for the whims of our “leaders.” And the media has convinced Canadians this is in their own best interest, when it could not be more the opposite. Is there truly no hope for our future?

Enter the truckers:

Perhaps I wasn’t the only frog noticing the hot water.

After Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau agreed to mandate all truckers be vaccinated to cross the border, the truckers responded, “no.” They decided to drive to Ottawa in protest of our current government’s overreach. They state, “To our Fellow Canadians, the time for political overreach is over.  Our current government is implementing rules and mandates that are destroying the foundation of our businesses, industries and livelihoods.” From the very beginning they have emphasized that this was a peaceful protest, and their rules for the protest include not entering any government building or property under any circumstances, treating all police officers with respect, keeping calm and not getting baited into conflict, and not making any type of threats.

Their Facebook group has been quickly growing since its inception. It’s over 760 000 users at the time of writing*. Not only that, the Gofundme has raised over $7 million. It’s difficult to pin down the actual number of truckers involved. Corporate media is downplaying the numbers, stating a few hundred or low thousands, while Trudeau has called them a “fringe minority.” The actual number is probably somewhere in the tens of thousands, with some in the group saying upwards of 50 000. There are American truckers joining in too, planning to cross the border to join their Canadian brothers and sisters in Ottawa. And let’s not forget all of the Canadians that are supporting the convoy, that have been greeting them from the side of the road, or from overpasses. Here’s a video with some highlights of the trip, and here’s another good one taken in Toronto. It is clearly far, far from a “fringe minority.” Nothing has unified Canadians like the Freedom Convoy has, at least in recent history, and most certainly not for the past two years. In fact, I can’t seem to remember a time where people seemed to be this united. I don’t think there has been an event in my lifetime as significant. It marks a chance for all Canadians to come together and voice their concerns, which have, for the past two years, been quashed into near silence. It’s the chance for Canadians of all walks of life to come together and stand up for their rights and freedoms.

Predictably, the state/corporate news is smearing them however they can. CityNews even reported that they were protesting unsafe road conditions, before facing a backlash from the public and having to edit the (written) story to specify that this was a separate protest from the gigantic one involving tens of thousands of truckers that they just so happened to miss. Then, when finally deciding to cover the actual story, they decided to broadcast that there would be “death and destruction” and likened it to the January 6th United States Capitol riot. They then went on to accuse the Gofundme of money laundering. There are also plenty of state/corporate news outlets that have claimed these are anti-vaccination protests, which is misleading. The vaccine is not the focal point of the protest – it’s the policies and regulations that have diminished the freedoms of Canadians that are the focal point. Framing the story in such a way is dishonest, and it mischaracterizes the movement. The CBC said there were protestors with confederate flags, and suggested that they were Nazis, but only moments later claimed that Russia may be instigating the protest. Maybe they’re Russian Nazis who want to restore the Confederacy? The story (which is quite comical) can be found here – and this video is also a great example of the TNI in action – reaffirming the narrative while pushing the vaccine. The conspiracy theories surrounding this protest put forward by the state/corporate media have been astounding. Any of this sound like an attempt to de-legitimize to you? Any of it sound like flooding people with tons of confusing and contradictory stories? Given what I discussed earlier, none of this should be surprising – but somehow it still shocks me. It’s uncanny to watch them try to create their own parallel, separate reality in real time. If you watch any footage of the convoy at all, the message is clear: Freedom for all Canadians. Restoration of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. (This was a great livestream showing a bit of the first day in Ottawa.) I wish the truckers and everyone in Ottawa the best, and I hope this helps more and more people come to their senses and unite for our rights.

From video footage shot by a protestor, it appeared that this provocateur with the flag was pressured to leave by those in the trucker convoy, as he did not reflect, nor respect, the values of the movement. It’s rumored that, after the photo was taken, these two left together.

In conclusion, I’d like to be clear: my message is not no vaccination. It is that the policies, restrictions and regulations and the way they are enforced are far more harmful than the thing they claim to be protecting us from. It is that the corporate media and Big Tech companies have pretended to inform people while propagating and perpetuating madness instead. They have driven a wedge between the people of this country, isolated them, and battered them with disinformation. They have manipulated Canadians into blaming each other instead of blaming those responsible. The common scapegoat used everywhere is obvious: it’s the fault of the unvaccinated. Trudeau even stated that, “they don’t believe in science, they’re often misogynist, often racist.” Scapegoating such a diverse group of people with this inflammatory language is not only divisive and hateful; it’s dangerous. A leader shouldn’t be directing a nation’s anxiety, anger, fear and frustrations towards a particular population of its people. One needs only look back at the history of the 20th century to see why. Not only that, but those in positions of power who are making these policies aren’t even following them. As Thomas Sowell said, “it’s hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.” The “news” media, politicians, as well as anyone else involved in this insanity need to be held accountable. In a court of law where applicable. And they should never be allowed in a position of power over anything ever again.

*the Facebook group has been deleted multiple times since I wrote this section. Videos of the convoy have been removed. This movement has been heavily censored by Facebook (and Instagram).


Japenglish

English, but not as we know it.

Deep within the heart of Mt. Fuji, there lies a man. A giant man, bound by chains. Bubbling lava flows dangerously close, whilst hundreds of shiny metal heaters train their orange glow on him. The scorching, immeasurable heat causes him to sweat profusely. Day in and day out, small men in funny suits swarm around him, collecting his sweat in giant vats. The brilliant sunlight and the cool, fresh mountain air of the outside world are unknown to him. He knows only the dim, cramped cauldron of endless heat. His only refuge is the lukewarm sugar water consistently pumped into his mouth via a giant straw from a humming machine. His name is Pocari. This is his story.

And don’t even get me started on this one:

It’s widely known that Japan is home to some very strange English. Signs, products, advertisements, and more are attempted in English, only to come out in, well, something that isn’t quite actually English. I mean it’s English, but not as we know it. Sometimes it’s meant to be informative for foreigners, and sometimes it’s just there to be trendy. Japanese is just such a completely different language that direct translations don’t exist (for most things), and when you find something that more or less directly translates, it’s used in different contexts than what would be it’s English counterpart. I’ve had a number of Japanese people ask me how to say “itadakimasu” in English, for example. There is no cultural precedent for us having a word for this in English. Maybe you could say it means, “I will receive,” but it’s commonly used before a meal. When do you ever say this right before you dig in? From this example, you could say it means something more like, “thank you for the food,” which in this case may be true, but then there are its other uses. What about when you receive a gift? Surely, you wouldn’t say, “thank you for the food” if you weren’t receiving any food. So back to “I will receive,” we go. But then you also can’t use it for non-physical things, like advice. This leaves the translation to being something more contextual-based, rather than something that’s able to be directly translated. And this is just one word. Imagine the whole language.

But for this, I am thankful. Partially. It’s a blessing and a curse. I have a really hard time learning Japanese, but the silly English I find is highly amusing. Over the course my time here, I have gathered many examples of this awkward and funny English. It’s a bit of a hobby of mine. Sharing is caring, so here we go:

I took this picture two years ago. I still don’t understand what it’s for.
Whatever floats your – wait, no. Sorry, that’s not allowed.
Snacks sure are great. The best, really. Snacks are beautiful, kind and everybody loves them.
Ah, the infamous cheese sand. It’s made of… what, again?

WHAT TIME IS IT?!:

So this is the drug sto- wait a second. Something’s not right here. Is this the drug store or a clothing store? A clothing store owned by the drug store, perhaps?
Hey, that’s a nice… uhh, yeah.

Not to be confused with:

See, this is why recycling is important. I think?
Oof.
“Is it cold?”
“Well…”
Umm, yes. Thank you. I suppose I will… do that thing you said. The sensation of taste will be enjoyed. Thank you, Okayama.
You won’t find any style here.
Not in this beer.
Close.
And…?
…?
I guess we’ll never know.
Another store that can’t decide what it is.
Is this… heterophobia?
Not even sure how to fix this one.
At least they actually sell baggage.
Interesting choice of name for a coffee shop.
And it was all going so well up until the end there.
I’d like a little bit of an explanation, to be honest.

Thus concludes the best of my collection so far. I actually have trouble believing how often I see English on clothes and wonder, “why does that shirt say that?” You would think that maybe they would get a native speaker, or someone more familiar with English to at least spell check these things before they decide to run with them. But apparently the demand is not high enough to be of any concern. It would be difficult to find someone to do such a small job, and most Japanese people wouldn’t understand it either way. A dreadful situation, really. But fortunately, it gives me a golden opportunity. Maybe every once in a while I’ll share some new ones I find.

What’re You Made Of?

I keep thinking to myself, “it’s probably just a matter of time before I really get it.”

Japan. Where the background music is in English, but nobody can understand it. The land of the rising sun. Where any amount of time I spend trying to get to know it feels like it’s not enough. There’s just so much to it. It’s a whole ‘nother world.

For my last post I decided to put to paper my deepest feelings about the struggles of moving here. It’s been a journey of discovery. About the world and about myself. And it’s certainly been a struggle. Some days feel like I’m in some kind of exotic theme park, while others feel like there’s an impenetrable barrier between myself and everyone else. And those other days can really break you down. But it takes some breaking down to see what you’re really made of.

The move to northern Japan went relatively smoothly, but going from a comfortable western-friendly city lifestyle to being dropped in the thick of rural Japanese culture has been a huge shock. Another bout of culture shock. I feel I’m closer to the core of Japanese culture, but there’s still so much I don’t understand. And it doesn’t help that the accent is so different here. But to be fair, I was warned about this before I came here. Japanese friends told me they couldn’t understand anyone out here, even though they’re still speaking Japanese. I feel like I’m in the Newfoundland of Japan. (Canny a word adem Newfies.)

Everyday it’s as though I’m sent down the rapids to navigate through my day. It’s a bumpy ride, and I have no idea what’s going on on a daily basis, but whatever it is, it’s happening regardless, so son-of-a-bitch, I’m in. I’ll figure it out eventually. Hopefully.
But even if I don’t, I’m at least enjoying myself. Picking up whatever responsibility I can, trying to learn and do my best.

I keep thinking to myself, “it’s probably just a matter of time before I really get it.” But how long do I have? And how long does culture shock last? Until I fully integrate with this new place I find myself in? Can I really do that? It’s all so different here, compared to back home in Canada. Part of the same world, yet somehow worlds apart.

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I feel like I’m missing something. I find myself feeling nostalgic for old Canadian things I used to use, eat, watch, experience. Maybe I’m finally homesick.

Sometimes it’s hard not to just feel like I’m some kind of spectacle out here. Allow me to paint the scene: I walk into class. Emphatic surprised noises echo amongst the students. The Japanese teacher says something along the lines of, “BEHOLD! as I attempt to communicate with this foreigner.” And there I stand, trying not to embarrass myself (too much), trying to speak in this strange balancing act of actual English and something they might understand.

But those everyday struggles, – the simple things that wouldn’t even cross your mind back home – they feel like big accomplishments when you don’t know the language or the customs or the rules. Somehow something so small begins to feel so big. Baby steps, I suppose. Even if you fall flat on your face every time, at least you’re getting somewhere. Getting through those everyday struggles, breaking down, and rebuilding yourself – that’s when you start to find out. What’re you made of? Something that sinks? Or something that can swim? Maybe you’re someone who can tread water after all.

A Warrior Dies to Learn Who He Is

We’re all warriors; fighting our own battles.

You’ve come so far. Built yourself up, atop of your ideals of how things should be and ideas of how the world works. Then something happens. Everything shudders, shakes, and when you look down, you realize. It’s as if you’ve awoken from a dream. Your eyes widen. You’re not on a solid foundation. This isn’t bedrock. It never was. You’re skating on thin ice. You’re treading water. Trying to stay afloat and keep your head from going under.

What you thought you knew is on a collision course with another world. A completely different world. At first, you only see the surface. It’s all so foreign and intriguing. It excites you, exhilarates you, as some kind of exotic theme park might. And for a time you are content with things being like this, although you sense something deeper lurking below. And it’s coming closer. When you eventually penetrate the surface, the sensation is entirely overwhelming. From your fingertips to your chest, from the crown of your head to the bottom of your feet, you’re left in a shaking anxiety. Everything falls apart. Everything you were, everything that was, everything you thought you were, everything you thought that was – everything you thought. You don’t know anymore. What did you just crash into? Where even were you before? What were you? You can finally grasp the ends of whatever lurks in the depths. Somewhere in the abyss dwells the answer. You feel you can never make it there. It’s as though, at least for the time being, it repels you. You can’t understand why. It’s a different world with a different structure. It’s all too complex to wrap your head around. You notice you’re still holding on to the driftwood of old ideas, as you attempt to tread water. You can’t help it. You’re not very good at this whole treading water thing. You fear these pieces of driftwood are actually holding you back from doing this effectively. They have great big holes in them. But you don’t know how to let go.

Those ends you could grasp – those tendrils of truth – they’ve finally led you to what you think is the core of this world. The secret lies within. The answer you seek. Could you really be almost there? You peel back layer after layer trying to get to it. With each one you pull on, your aching body increases in desperation, and the prospect of this endeavour bearing fruit seems more and more futile. You grow weary. There’s no end to the layers. It’s a puzzle on a scale you’ve never even witnessed, let alone imagined before.

Whether you were to wake up and realize it or not, life always was and always will be this way. Ideas are nothing solid, after all. You can only pretend to stand on them. The whole universe is maddeningly complex, and it’s under no obligation to make any sense to us. It’s best to learn to tread water, lest you drown trying to stand, or drown holding onto something that will pull you under.

The water begins moving. Quicker and quicker, it pulls you along with it. You’re sent down the rapids in a big yellow raft. As much as you think to yourself, “I don’t want to go down here,” it doesn’t matter: That’s where you’re headed. You can try to paddle back or close your eyes and make believe, but you’re powerless within the forces of nature. Maybe the whole situation scares you so much that you panic and flip your raft, and get helplessly sucked down into the bottomless depths. Yet another sure way to drown. Alternatively, you can brace yourself, and learn to navigate the rapids, steering yourself toward better waters. Maybe it turns out to be fun. Or at least enjoyable. You can’t stop life. But you can make it better.

This all comes with the realization that there are a seemingly infinite number of ways one can live out their life. And they can be so bafflingly vast in their differences. All of them are valid. Life can truly be whatever we want it to be. Why do we settle for this?

Back Into the Great Unknown

When everything slows down to a grinding halt – when every day feels the same – when everything feels comfortable in such a way that it’s become stale, you know. It’s time for a change.

When I was thinking of where I was at that time, I felt depressed. Doing the same thing day in and day out became so wearisome. Did I really come all the way to Japan just to be dealing with the same tiring shit over and over again? Ah, but that question reveals my answer. I was focusing on the wrong thing. I forgot there was a reason I came here. At moments like these, it’s time to go back to drawing board. To plan what’s next. To recalculate where your aim is. I got caught up in the routine of my day to day life and lost track of that aim. And what’s most important is to have that aim in mind. I came here to experience new things, visit new places, meet new people.

Thus, I once again decided to move somewhere completely different. Somewhere I had never been before. I decided to move to a small town in Tohoku region. Where even less people will know English. Where many people I’ve talked to say the dialect is difficult to understand. I have a feeling this will once again be a similar experience to moving to Japan for the first time. Back when I understood virtually no Japanese. Back when I basically started my life over in Kagawa. But this time, I’m starting over in Iwate.

Is it scary? Of course it is. But that’s precisely why I’m doing it. Sometimes I think back to how easy life would have been if I didn’t break out of my comfort zone and make the trip here to Japan. How easy it is to do nothing. But then, I wouldn’t have visited such incredibly beautiful places, or met such wonderful people. I wouldn’t have been able to challenge myself and grow as a person in nearly the same way. I wouldn’t have had all these amazing experiences. The easy option isn’t worth it. The scary option has the reward.

And so here I go again, into the great unknown. Wish me luck.

State of Emergency

The last line of defense in the face of an epidemic: teaching English. A candle in the darkness. A bastion of hope. Everything else may have closed, but my company refused to. I stepped through a dark, abandoned mall to make it to work. It was eerie, but people were truly counting on me in these difficult times. The only other place with their lights on was the supermarket.

In April, Japan extended it’s state of emergency from the hard-hit prefectures to the entire country. Things out where I live slowly started to change. But there was never really any social distancing. Stores measured out and marked how far you’re supposed to stand from each other in line. That’s about it. People were and are still gathering just like before, though it’s quite rare to see people not wearing masks. More recently, everything around here began to close early. And some places have just been closed period. Of note, many of these places are restaurants, which has thrown a wrench in my regular schedule for grabbing lunch at work. This whole corona virus thing may have killed thousands of people and thrown economies into disarray, but now that it’s inconvenienced me, it has gone too far!

(I hope everyone read that as a joke.)

The number of cases in my prefecture have been at a standstill for weeks. And just yesterday, the government announced that it will be lifting the country-wide state of emergency, and maintaining it only in heavily affected areas. This means things will hopefully go back to normal around here very soon.

…

In other news, Golden Week, the week-long Japanese holiday, just went by at the beginning of May. Originally, I wanted to travel to Hokkaido, but with COVID-19 on the radar, I had to cancel. Instead I joined my friends on a surprise hiking expedition that was going to take “two hours” (it was actually closer to six), where we visited three temples in the mountains. The fresh mountain air and the scenery were fantastic. The temples were all unique and interesting. My feet hurt like never before. It was one of those snap decisions that will be memorable for a lifetime. It was a small reminder that no matter what happens, we can always use the time we have to do something worthwhile.

Then, the other day I found myself staring out of the employee break room window, at a magnificent view of lush distant mountains. I longed to be out there in the fresh air, adventuring. And that brought me back to my school days, staring out the window at a beautiful summer day while the teacher talked on, having the same feeling. Every now and again growing up, I would always look back and ask myself if I’d changed, but looking back now I feel like I’m still the same kid I always was: the one who brought a soccer ball out on the playground with the other kids during a snowstorm and slid around the field through the cold white fluff until the school bell called us back in; the mischievous child who, during class, used to take things from his friend’s pencil case, smother glue on them and throw them at the wall until they stuck; who skateboarded as fast as he could to school because he was always late; who was always training for and playing hockey, and ended up breaking his arm twice; who never did his homework, because homework is for chumps. Trying new things, longing for adventure, wanting to push myself, refusing to do things I disagree with. It’s as though all of these things have always been a part of me from the beginning. To me, I’m still the same little kid I always was. But now here I am: an “adult.” Someone who the kids now have to listen to. The more I think about it, the more I realize there were never actually any adults. There are just kids who got older.

Everyone on our hiking trip.

No Men Enter, No Men Leave

What’s that like, I wonder?

April in Japan is beautiful. The weather has been nice, save for a few rainy days. The cherry blossoms are out and so are all of the people. Wait- what? Why are all these people out here? When I scroll through the news and my social media, I constantly see stories about COVID-19. Everyone is talking about the lock down, social distancing and what to do in quarantine or self-isolation. Lock down? That sounds serious. Social distancing? Interesting… Self-isolation? Sounds like something an avid gamer really wouldn’t mind. Plenty of them were already doing that, anyway.

I feel like I’m somehow missing out on something here. Everything in Takamatsu is life as usual. When I went out to see the sakura trees, families and friends were still having picnics under the pink and white blossoms. I was surprised at how many kids were outside in the park. Then when I looked around, I realized it wasn’t only kids. Many people were wandering around. I went to a restaurant a few nights ago and it was packed. Only two tables were open in the whole place. And this is something I’ve been noticing when I pass by restaurants, stores, arcades, and the like: They’re still filled with people.

I have to wear a mask when I’m teaching, and hand sanitizer is readily available in virtually all businesses. Those are just about the only noticeable changes that have occurred in recent weeks. They still aren’t testing people out here. One of my coworkers had a fever and a cough, and when he went to the hospital, they basically told him that since there were only two confirmed cases in our prefecture, that it was probably nothing, and he could return to work. Seems like the criteria is rather high for being too sick to miss work – so again, no change there for Japan. The plan here seems to be to wait until a lot of people get sick, and then reluctantly try to curb the virus. I’m constantly wondering how things will turn out here, and I’m constantly worried about the state of affairs back home. Luckily, for myself, I’m not in a high risk area (as of yet, anyway). But people are still traveling around Japan. Schools are opening again, and apparently, this is the time of year that everyone is moving to go to a new school, or start a new job. Tokyo is on the brink of calling a state of emergency. Major cities and possibly even their entire prefectures will be affected. And this is only the beginning. Does some sort of lock down await all of us? I guess we’ll see how things shake out in the next couple of weeks. Wherever you happen to be in the world, stay safe.